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What better way to communicate this inner turmoil on a budget than to have Tyler/Ricky/Brent/Hugo pop out for a cigarette and look tremendously introspective while he's about it. It's all getting a bit much for our hero Tyler/Ricky/Brent/Hugo: his secret longings, his stubborn parents, that boy in the swimming team, the imminent school poetry contest. Anything without a beat is essentially classical. Remember: your audience's musical knowledge will tend to stop at Donna Summer. For summer scenes, use something playful in a major key in winter, try the deep end of a glockenspiel but use very sparingly. At some point, you will need restless chords to communicate the misery of realising that one is gay.
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Preferably by Sibelius – not the Finnish composer, but the affordable software programme that lets anyone become a bedroom Beethoven. Mesmerising peepers – as deep, blue and mysterious as a lake – will often be captured on the point of tears, before being clenched tightly shut to indicate intense feeling. Reading on a mobile? Click here to watch the video Beautiful eyes staring into the distance Some shower scenes ( Midnight Express, Gus Van Sant's Elephant) get it right. Unlike most showers, it goes on for quite some time. The main character takes a shower, as most people tend to do on a daily basis. For some reason, this has to be included in the film.
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Some of the better gay films acknowledge that lovers are capable of hating each other at the same time, and expressing it beautifully: see the Heath Ledger/Jake Gyllenhaal "I wish I knew how to quit you" rage scene in Brokeback Mountain. Pick up a brick and chuck it off a provincial bridge into a dried-out river and imagine what your body would sound like slamming against those … oh God, now we're quoting Björk lyrics. How dare that boy call me a faggot!? How dare my dad suggest he wants me to be straight like him and everyone else he's ever known!? It's time for a moment of rage! Throw your mobile on the floor so that the battery pack smashes! Cycle furiously while bent over your handlebars with a deep frown! And don't acknowledge Mrs Friendly Old Bitch who lives next door when she says hi. The Portuguese mother in Mau Couti's bad gay cult classic Tunel Russois a tremendous example. Working-class mothers are generally the best, but a rich bitch can work, too. And then there's that Eurovision wallchart.
But let's face it, she's already spotted the cock ring and poppers in his bottom drawer. Later, she will ask if he's gay, then feign shock at the answer.
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She should shout at the TV as if it can hear her and she will definitely shout at her gay son when he comes in from school.Īt first, her dialogue revolves around schoolwork, nagging her son to wear a bike helmet and complaining about his (erotically shot, of course) piles of dirty socks. She needs to be watching a massively crap chat show or a feckless daytime TV quiz. She's probably 30th in line to being the next Sheila Hancock. Think of a fat Joan Rivers cast in a John Osborne play.
She is angsty, sombre, frayed, yet just a tiny bit fabulous.